and on and on.

It's funny how things change. And it's funny how some things don't.


So much is different from a month ago.

I was in Canyonlands a month ago. Hiking, actually.
Work was stressing me out and I was feeling pretty bad about school.
I was trying really hard to figure myself out, to get things in order. I was planning for my future. I felt like my future was right there. Like I needed to deal with everything right up front.


Now?


Work is work. I'm doing okay.
School is far enough away that I don't feel the stress of it. (Deep enough into summer that the bad feelings have faded, but not so close to fall that I am worried about the new semester.)

I'm surviving. I wouldn't say thriving or anything. But I'm doing just fine.

I've been working really hard on being more involved in the "right now." I am a version of myself right now, at this moment, that I will never be again. And I feel like I owe it to myself to live my life. Future-Lauren is some other girl. She'll get her chance to live. But for now she just needs to wait. I (right-now-me) am going to try to soak up as much experience as possible.