Look, I like you summer. You're my favorite and we've had a lot of good times. But it's time we had a chat.

Your long, hot sunny days are wonderful I love wearing sandals and shorts all the time, laying in the grass, enjoying the outdoors.

Here's the thing, though. School started and took away everything good about you. I don't get to enjoy any of the positive aspects of our relationship these days. Instead, I have to put on pants (yikes) and closed-toed shoes (sigh) and trudge across campus. I have to wear a backpack and hurry everywhere I go. My shirt gets all sweaty where my backpack straps go and I just end up red and gross by the end of the day.

I wish what we had could have lasted forever. But the reality is that we need some time apart. I need a cooler season in my life right now.

Things are good. I'm feeling happier than I have in a really long time. It's like when the sun rises and the world goes from variations of blue to having color and shape. Things are better, more clear.
I feel like myself for the first time in who knows how long. And more than that, it's a newer, better version of myself.

Good, happy things:
-fall semester starts tomorrow
-I've set a brand new list of goals for myself
-I just downloaded two Jeremy Enigk albums I had been missing (love, love, love)
-new episodes of Doctor Who!

Another thing:
Sometimes when I look back at things I've done in the past I feel embarrassed. And I suppose that's good. It means I'm growing.

I can't sleep (side effect of the wonder drug) so... naturally I was reading the course syllabus for my IHUM 280R class. One of my required texts is Batman: The Long Halloween.
We will also be watching Poltergeist, Batman, and The Dark Knight.

I have a feeling this class is going to be amazing.

Good news. I'm feeling better. When these pills work, they realllly work. It's like flipping a switch. The pain stops, the sickness stops, and suddenly I'm back to being myself. I'm exhausted, yes. And it takes time for me to recuperate. But it stops and I can get back to my life. Last year, for whatever reason, I didn't respond to them. (And we all saw how that went.) I'm so happy that they worked this time.

So I'm good. I'm tired - but I'm good.


Other things:
- Have I mentioned how much I love my new house? This is definitely the nicest place I've lived since moving to Provo.
- My new ward seems fantastic.
- I went over my list of goals for this summer and I've managed to complete them all.
- Summer is practically over. One more week until the semester begins and I could not be happier. I've been in this weird state of limbo for the past few months. That feeling is fading away, though, and I think the fresh start I've been waiting for is finally here.

Effingeffeff

Sorry for the title Mom, I know how you hate that.

ER for the second time this week. Worst timing ever? Yeah, probably.
Sorry for any plans I have to skip out on. Sorry if I've been out of touch.

I don't intend to be admitted here if I can help it. I'll be fine. Just posting so people know what's going on.

a butterfly and a doctor.

Ensures - they're like drinking liquid strength.

I've been feeling ill. But I'm trying to get on top of things before it gets out of control. Been there, done that, no thank you.

On the bright side... I have lots of time to watch Doctor Who right now.

And a bit of a story: Last night before I turned off the lights, a dark shadow slid across my wall. I only saw it out of the corner of my eye, but I was immediately freaked out. It didn't help that I had just finished watching a Doctor Who episode called "Satan's Pit." Then I saw a flutter near my closet and realized that it was just a butterfly. A big one with orange wings. I opened the window to try to set it free, but it wouldn't have any of that. It just kept flitting around on the opposite side of the room. I eventually gave up and had to shut my window when I saw a mosquito buzzing around my room.

Butterfly hung out with me all night and then all day. It flew all over the place in the morning and then slept on the wall near my bed during the afternoon. I finally scooped it up and let it outside this evening. Little guy was missing out on the outdoors, and that's no way for a pretty little butterfly to live.

A NEW CAAA-AR

I dare you to read the title of this post and not think of the Price is Right.

But are you ready for this news? Friends, take note: I don't have to be a bum and beg for rides anymore.
Goodbye public transportation and all of the, ahem, colorful characters on the bus.

Consider the following scenarios:
It is 10 PM and I realize I am out of milk. The buses are no longer running and my roommates are asleep.
It's cool - I can get in my car and head to the grocery store.

I go to a party and realize that it is no fun. Awkward. Do I have to wait around for my ride to decide that they are also done with this party?
Nope. I can leave. Any. time. I. want.

I'm at school and realize I left my 20,000 point assignment back at my house. Do I get an F?
Nah, it's fine. I can just run home between classes and grab it.

I give you: Lauren's first car.

Forgive the fact that I'm all squinty. I was so excited that I couldn't even keep my eyes open. Also, it was bright.

So I moved.

Then I moved again.

My new new home seems like it's going to be great.

It's a long story - one I would be happy to tell you at a later date. But for now - let's just say this: MOVING TWICE IN FORTY-EIGHT HOURS IS NOT FUN AND SHOULD BE DISCOURAGED/AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

Bedouins are crazy. That's what I've decided. Snails are nuts. Carrying their houses with them everywhere they go. Because lemme tell you something. It is exhausting. Sigh. Siiiigh.

But on to the good.

The new place is:

big

open

clean

bright

tasteful.

I intend to host a party ASAP. And you're all invited.

Also, visitors are welcome encouraged. Please come over? It's a little lonely.

farewell to a home.

I am moving tomorrow. I am really, really excited for the change. A new place, new roommate, new neighborhood. A change of scenery and an opportunity for a new phase of my life. As I've packed up all of my things, though, I've realized that I'll miss this place. (Not enough to stay another year, or anything - but you know.)

Two year ago, I moved in this house with some of my best friends. It's been a good place to be. Sure - the house is old. And drafty. And crumbling. But it's been my home for two years.

Most of these pictures are from the first year here. I am terrible about taking pictures - so the last year is mostly undocumented. But these should give a good impression of how things have been: bright, crowded, tricksy, and kind of ridiculous.

This house has been a big part of my life. I don't know if I can explain this without sounding really sappy, so sorry in advance. But so many of my memories over the last couple of years took place right here. I've studied, cried, and loved here. I've watched four friends leave here and get married. It's the place where I've felt safe enough to be completely myself. This place has been my home through heartbreaks, happy times, scary things, and so, so many changes. This home, more than any other, is one that I have grown in. It's time to go, but I'll always think of this as my first real home since moving out on my own.

So goodbye to my bright, little home.