be careful what you wish for

I need to get out of town for a few days. Do something new, have a change of scenery, shake off my identity for a little while. I get like this when life gets too formulaic.

It's true that the weeks have been flying by. But it's not because they are packed with anything novel or exciting. It's because I can say to myself on any given day, "Well, today is Monday (or Tuesday or Wednesday...) so I know exactly what I will be doing." This type of predictability can be comforting and make me feel secure and safe... but sometimes (like now) it just makes me feel trapped, bored, and restless. I know what is coming next so I just tune out. It's like white noise.

Nothing about my life is bad. I love my family, my friends, my home. I am lucky to have such a great job and to be in such an ideal situation. So really, I'm not complaining. I couldn't wish for anything better, exactly. But I just wish for things to be a little bit different.

stewart falls

Yesterday was a pretty great day.

I slept in and had a really lazy morning. Around noon, I headed over to Maleah's to babysit baby Makani. She's about eight or nine months old (Soph - help me out on this one, I can't remember) and is at one of my favorite ages. She sits up on her own and likes to play - but she hasn't quite figured out how to crawl. This means a stationary baby that is easy to occupy. And Makani is probably the most easy going baby I've ever known, so the three hours I spent with her consisted of lots of giggling (mostly me) and drooling (mostly her). I didn't bring a camera, so I don't have any photos to share. But picture this: a wide, toothless grin, next to no hair, wide eyes, and big kissable cheeks. So precious.

Also, this baby is currently teething and she STILL wasn't fussy or disagreeable. I'm not exaggerating when I say - most. easygoing. baby. ever.


After babysitting, Jon came and picked me up. We made lunch at his house and then headed up to Sundance. We hiked up to Stewart Falls and had a really nice afternoon/early evening. And I do have pictures of this - so get ready.

The landscape was absolutely gorgeous. We rode the lift up, hiked over to the falls, and then hiked back down.

This is a picture of what we saw from the lift:

I get pretty nervous when it comes to heights, so parts of the hike were a bit nerve-wracking (think narrow trail with a sheer drop on one side). Surprisingly the ride up in the lift wasn't too scary. I think because it's manmade and has a security bar I had a false sense of security. Like, "Oh! Sundance maintains this. There's no way I could ever fall out and die. No big deal." Although I couldn't help but think about this story I read a few months ago.

The whole hike was just gorgeous. I couldn't get over it.

The falls themselves were really pretty too. And cold. And very tall.

The water was SO COLD. Jon insisted upon us taking a picture of our feet in the water. I agreed but immediately regretted it.

This is a picture Jon took on our way back down. You can see the waterfall off in the distance.

One of my favorite parts of the hike was the fairy throne. It was in this area where the trees were really dense and the stream got shallow enough to easily wade through it. In the center of the stream was a stump in the shape of a throne.

Fairies. Or drops of water on the lens. Whatever.

And then, of course, the drive home. The drive down the canyon always seems so much shorter than the drive up.

After the hike I came home and showered (which felt really amazing). Then Jon came and picked me up again. We also got Braden on the way and then we went over to Tom's to watch The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. I was the only one who had seen it before and I was really excited to have everyone watch it. In the end, I think they liked it (but probably not as much as I do). We played Soul Calibur for a while and then watched the Mammals episode of Life (as narrated by David Attenborough, not Oprah).

By the time I got home it was really, really late. So late, in fact, that Lana was just getting up. That was a weird exchange - good morning! good night!

Anyway, a great day from start to finish.

what i like to call "getting back on track"

New goals:
- go to bed at a decent time
- spend less money eating out/going to movies
- read at least one book each week for the rest of the summer
- keep my bedroom picked up
- get out of bed when my alarm goes off (so that I have time to shower and so that Lana doesn't have to listed to Yelle or Sugar Ray every five minutes for half the morning)
- do something active at least three times per week
- cut back on sugar (no more buying sweet things)
- focus on being a better friend, roommate, daughter, etc. and less on things that don't really matter

Lately I've become really lackadaisical, listless, languid, lazy, leaden - I think you get the picture - about things/my life/everything. No more. I will not fall back on any of my usual excuses - "it's too hot", "but it's summer", "I forgot to eat lunch so these five rice krispy treats are really just balancing out the missed calories".

I had very lofty goals at the beginning of this summer. And again towards the middle. Somewhere in the last couple of weeks, though, I lost my footing and ended up meandering around. I know exactly what happened and I know just what I need to do to fix this.

woke up with an earwig pinching my neck. dreadful.

I've been at work for an hour and a half. But I'm already feeling restless.

This should be an interesting week.

a list of happy things

Things I love:
-when the clock has my birthday on it (9:27)
-being half way between dreaming and waking up
-clean bathtubs
-perfume
-working Monday through Thursday (three day weekends every week)
-summer nights
-clean hair
-music that brings back memories

naptime

i need to start going to sleep earlier

it's the most wonderful time of the year

Forget sleigh bells and carols - give me fireworks, barbecues, and swimming pools. Because the most wonderful time of the year is not in December.

It's summer.


And it finally feels like summer.
Really and truly.
The sun shines and doesn't set until nine. The breeze is warm, popsicles and juice are my primary source of nourishment, I stay up way too late, and I am barefoot most of the time.

Green grass and sprinklers and hiking and walks along the Provo river trail.
Bike rides in the evenings.
Late night movies, ice cream cones.
Shorts, no make up, sitting in the shade.

The mourning doves coo in the trees. The stars are bright and the sky is clear.
We keep the house dark and cool.
I sleep with my windows open. Listen to the trains as I fall asleep.

People have lost that manic look they get during the school year. (Pinched and sallow, dark circles under their eyes.)
Their faces are freckled and brown. Flushed cheeks and smiles.


I love summer.