Because you asked so nicely.

I'm terrible at posting on my blog. But here's the deal: 99% of my friends have moved/will shortly move away from Provo. (Geez guys.) Which means it will be harder to stay connected. Well, harder for other people to stay connected to me. I read my friends' blogs on a daily basis. Which means that even after months apart I'm totally up to date with their lives. The trouble? I'm not reciprocating.
I was talking to Lana and Becky last night and they gave me those eyes--you know, the "get it together" eyes--and told me I needed to start posting more often.

So I will. I'm going to start posting more frequently so that I can stay in touch. I almost said I'd post daily... but I think that's a bit ambitious. A minimum of weekly? Okay. Yes. I can do that.

Remember that little issue I mentioned?

You know... about how I have such a hard time writing. And how I am only able to write for school because the alternative is failure? Uh huh. Yeah.

I am wrestling this paper to the ground though, guys. It has been resisting every step of the way BUTIGOTTHIS.

And now, so that you can all say things like "wow! Lauren is so smart!" here are the things that I am writing about:
abjection
the formation of identity
the pre-oedipal stage
HELLO, YES. WHAT IS SANITY?

In rage faces:

In other news, I'm trying to cut down on my Reddit usage. It's going... okay.

in a writing slump

This blog is not the only writing I've been neglecting.
I have three papers that I need to write by tomorrow.
I haven't written in my journal since February 23rd. (unless you count writing the date at the top of the page on February 26th)
I have been terrible when it comes to writing letters. (Sorry David. Sorry Paige.)
I don't even reply to Facebook posts half the time. Seriously.

I'm not sure what the deal is.
I look at my blog every so often and think "huh, sure has been a long time." People have pointed out my lack of updates, even.  Oops.

I have been carrying my journal with my everywhere I go (as usual) - but every time I open it up I stare blankly at the very, very blank pages. Nothing.

I only manage to write things for my classes because the alternative is failure. So. Yeah.

I'm working on it. I promise.

a reason to break this two month silence

I'm not one to say this usually.  But goodness, gracious.  Can I just be her?

I haven't had anything to post since October 31st.  But - here we are.

Forty-five days. Then I'll be done with finals and with this semester. That's totally manageable, right?

(The word manageable suddenly looked like the word "manger", which is the French verb for "to eat". Which made me think of the phrase "biting off more than you can chew"... which is kind of what I did this semester.)

But here are some good things.

- Halloween candy like WOAH.

- Jacket weather is here. (Mostly. sometimes.)

- I'm three-fourths of the way through this monster of a paper. ("monster" not so much because of its length, but because of my inability to patch together any sort of coherent structure for it. or to even write decent sentences.)

- Two new Radio Dept albums.

- Fried rice for dinner. Except maybe this is more depressing than anything, when it comes down to it. (ask me another time and I'll explain why this is especially sad)

- That bottle of soy sauce I bought a month ago? I was finally able to open it. I had tried EVERYTHING. Hot water, knife under the edge of the cap, tapping it on the counter, insulting it in angry tones. Everything. I even had other people try to open it for me. They couldn't.

- that's it.

That's about all the happy I can come up with right now.

Wait.

No.

- Also, the pink wig I bought that I really couldn't afford and so what if my rent is going to be just the tiniest bit late. It's adorable and I love it. Princess Bubble Gum? Stephanie from Lazytown? Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation? Yep. All the time.

i take it back

My stress is JUST LIKE A GEYSER.  The pressure builds and builds until there is an enormous display of waterworks.

But instead of scalding water, it is in the form of tears.

Sooo many tears.

Yellowstone

This weekend I took a much-needed break and went on a road trip with Matt and Lana.  We drove to Rexburg on Friday (yesterday), stayed with some of Matt's friends over night, then we all went to Yellowstone for the day.

Here are just a few pictures:

In front of the sign at the entrance! (of course)

 In front of a cloud of sulfur/hot pots!

Reading about the things!

Old Faithful!  Which lived up to it's name.

We'll drive back tomorrow and then it's school-midterms-researchpaper-rent-bills-andgnlrekheh;ekbgejknentr freaking out.  I didn't realize just how stressed I was until I went away and took a break from it all.  I told myself I wouldn't think about any of it while I was away... and for the most part I didn't.  That is, until this afternoon when I was standing next to a pool of boiling clay, bathed in a cloud of sulfurous vapor, and I started to have a mini heart attack as I thought about all the things that are waiting for me in Provo.  I was able to push down the panic, though, and enjoy the rest of the day. 

Also - I was really tempted to turn this post into some stupid analogy comparing my stress levels to a geyser.  But I didn't.  You're welcome.